


Emotions

by orphan_account



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/F, Out of Character, possible ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why do humans feel? Why do we have emotions? </p><p>Why if they only serve as a weight to hold us down? To slow our evolution? </p><p>Would you rather feel something new and incredible to explore or to not feel at all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if they seem out of character, it's my first time writing for RvB.

Emotions. 

Something Emily could never quite wrap her mind around. 

She was an expert doctor. A highly intelligent human being with an incredible IQ. She was the best of the best of Chorus’ medical. Though not many were alive to rival her skill. 

Not many were around to befriend either. Emily was never a people person. She always seemed to lack what most people had in terms of social interactions. Sure she could perform a surgery and single-handedly save a life but she was incapable of initiating a normal conversation with someone before they gave her weird looks or walked away. 

“ _The mad scientist finally showed up._ ” 

They, much like others, had dubbed her insane. And hey, maybe she was. She did interrogate that soldier with some rather. . . _violent_ strategies. But she believed she was justified. He had had a hand in the destruction of the only ones she could ever call “friends”. Her comrades had been wiped out by him and his fellows and she wanted to be the one to give him what for. 

Some bond was what she secretly hoped for. Being able to communicate in a way that wasn’t necessary for war or other matters. She wanted to be able to actually _talk_ to someone. To talk about the day’s events and debate their opinions on the world. 

Maybe it was a tad too late to want something like that. The Feds and Rebels may have formed an “alliance” but Emily knew very well of the tension. Kimball and Doyle were not how you would describe allies. The strain was quite obvious but all were too busy preparing for war on Felix and Locus’ merc army. 

She had wanted no part in the war and was glad she didn’t have to fight it. Too many things were happening at once. Mixed messages, confused soldiers, and a secret working of players controlling them like puppets had led to the inevitable battle. She knew she had the Reds, Blues, Agent Carolina and Epsilon to thank. They had prevented the deaths of more innocent men and women by broadcasting Felix’s confession, convincing Kimball he was not an ally. 

War was not something she had any interest. Fighting the same. 

She was a scientist! Whether mad was up for debate but what wasn’t was her passion and curiosity of the unknown. Why slaughter each other over land when you can find what’s hidden in your own? 

The opportunity to study alien technology was a once in a lifetime chance. It may never pass by her again. And she’d be able to assist those who saved Chorus while she was at it – a form of repayment. 

Yes, Emily Grey did not understand emotions. She knew the body’s purposes. She knew how the organs depended on each other like a fleshy community - but inside the anatomy of a person. 

But emotions were inside the brain. Psychology? Maybe. But that was more so the study of stimuli and how one would react. Emotions – feeling – was more so found in something that confused Emily. 

One’s soul. One’s morality. One’s spirit. 

Feeling could be linked as a weakness in survival. Only the strongest survive and maybe, only those who were willing to kill or be killed without thought would evolve. 

People like Felix and Locus. Not people like her or her peers or the Reds and Blues. 

She had no doubt the mercs would murder those who stood in their way. And they’d feel no guilt for their actions. 

Emily. . .didn’t think she could do that. She didn’t think she could take a person’s life. To have their blood on your hands and their being on your conscious? It would drive her deeper into insanity. 

The doctor slid out of her bed and slipped into her armor. She quietly left her quarters and stepped out into the night. 

It was quiet as she walked, listening in as the wind blew. The stars were spanned out across the sky like miniscule circles of light. She felt like one of those gaseous space bodies. 

One of many. Someone else may see you around so many others and think you’re among friends or family. But they’d be mistaken. 

All those others who looked so close are lightyears away, never to see or touch you. And some day, you’d burn out. Whether in a massive explosion or a barely noticeable boom, you’d be gone. 

Sometimes Emily hated thinking so. . .pessimistically. It worsened her mood and made her feel worthless. Alone. Without love. 

The doctor stopped by a cliff, sitting down on the rocks. She observed the landscape around her, the bodies of water stretching far and wide with small islands dotting in their blue midst. 

It reminded her of descriptions of the human homeland she had been told throughout the years. She’d had never set foot on Earth. She knew nothing of it nor did she care to. 

But. . .it had seemed beautiful from what they said. Golden coasts with clear blue water. Mountains covered in snow that reached the sky. Endless deserts with a night sky of grandeur beauty. Forests so green and bountiful plant life. 

“It can be schuper pretty schometimes, can’t it?” Emily jerked her head right at the source of the voice. It was a New Republic soldier with tan armor and a maroon trim. The doctor’s visor hid her furrowed eyebrows as she tried to recall her name. 

She was someone from Agent Washington’s regiment. He had mentioned her once in a discussion with Simmons and Tucker. 

Johnson? No. Jenkins? No. Jensen! 

“Lieutenant Jensen?” 

A recent concern in security had led to more troops being sent to their location. If they wanted to further investigate the tech they needed more men and women to prepare in case of counterattacks. One group sent had been Washington’s. He had still been concerned as to whether they were ready but sure enough, they were here. 

“Oh pleasche just call me Katie. I don’t even know how I got that promotion in the first plache.” She said, taking a seat next to Emily. 

“You’re Dr. Grey right? You saved Wasche when that Locusche douche attacked him!” Emily couldn’t help but blush at the woman’s excited introduction. 

“Oh I wouldn’t say I _saved_ him.” She replied modestly. “It’s my job as this. . .alliance’s head doctor to care for my patients.” She frowned, quietly whispering under her breath, “Even if they refuse robot arms.” 

“What’sche it like here?” Katie asked, looking around. “It’sch a pleaschant change of scenery. I’m glad I don’t have to look at the wallsch of the training facility anymore. Or run lapsch around it.” She let out a dramatic sigh of relief that Emily couldn’t help but giggle at. 

“I feel terrible to tell you this, but,” she began jokingly. “I don’t think Agent Washington will ease up on your exercises. I think you’ll still be running the same distance just in this encampment now.” 

For some reason, the usual awkwardness Emily faced when talking to someone was gone. Maybe it was because she was sure Katie herself was rather inept when it came to social skills. 

“AWWW!” The soldier threw herself back, arms spread wide. “But I’ll have an aschthma attack!” 

Emily felt herself smiling as she responded, “You could always check in with me. You can consider me your friendly nurse!” Even if those who knew her wouldn’t call her that, she thought maybe she could try to ease up on her regular reaction to injuries if it was Lieutenant Jensen who was the one in need of assistance. 

She felt a new emotion around this woman, one she had never felt before. But she’d have to consult other scientist’s work and research to find what she was feeling later. Maybe tomorrow. 

“Schweet! Usually when one of us complainsch about something Wash yellsch at usch and makesch usch run another lap or do fifteen extra pusch-ups. Then Bittersch getsch angry and yellsch at usch. Or if he’sch really tired sometimesch he’ll hit Palomo and I. Not Anderschmith though. He’sch bigger than him.” 

Emily moved closer to Jensen. “Wash allows him to hit you two? I know he defends it as a strategic military tactic but that seems rather harsh. I don’t think he’d want one of you to take out your rage on your partners.” 

“He doeschn’t usually do it when Wasch is around. Kinda when it’sch just usch in our bunks? He won’t do it if Anderschmith is around, either. He’sch the only one to protect us. In fact, if he hadn’t been around that one time, I don’t think Palomo would schtill be _alive_.” 

“Oh.” Emily said, unsure of how to react. She was used to being stuck in the medical bay all day, caring for her patients. The soldiers she took care of were the ones’ getting hurt and she couldn’t imagine having to deal with being beat by a fellow Lieutenant if she made a mistake that resulted in more work. 

She wasn’t one for the intensity of a fist fight or a shootout. That wasn’t her job. What was, however, was to deal with the aftermath. 

“What did you do before all this started?” Emily asked, turning her head to look at Jensen. The woman sat up and dangled her legs over the cliff. 

“I had a big family and we all crammed inside this really schmall house. Sometimes it was crazy living there. I never had privacy but I guessch I should be grateful. I’d much rather grow up schurrounded by others then alone. I had two older brothersch and an older sister. I wasch supposed to be the youngest when my mom became pregnant with my younger brother.” Katie’s legs stopped moving and grew still as her tone dropped. “But. . .my mom didn’t make it. Scho the Jenschen family lost a mother and brother that day.” 

“Oh. I-I’m so sorry.” Emily said, hand timidly reaching out to wrap around the girl. For a strong soldier she seemed so frightened. Just as her palm reached Katie’s shoulder, the woman threw herself into the doctor, metal clanking as she hugged her tight. 

The woman blushed as she awkwardly tried to console her, patting her oddly on the back. 

“I was scheven when that happened. My dad stopped being a ‘dad’ after that. Luckily, I schtill had my brothersch and schister to watch over me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.” Katie explained as she slowly untangled herself from Emily. “I’m schorry. I. . .I just. . .um.” 

“It’s okay. It’s a natural human response to seek comfort in others when hurt, whether emotionally or physically.” The doctor reminded. “Though I think that sad attempt at a hug would’ve be much better without heavy armor.” 

Katie laughed, a beautiful sound that Emily’s ears begged to hear more of. For the clumsy, dorky woman with a severe lisp she had an uncharacteristically graceful laughter. 

“Maybe. . .maybe schometime we could. . .schee each other without armor. . .” The woman nervously tapped her fingers as her visor faced her. 

The lack of common lingo put Emily at a disadvantage, even if Jensen had found the creepiest and nerdiest way to ask the doctor out. Still not knowing what the strange feeling she felt was – which felt like winged specimen flying around inside of her – she decided to definitely research tomorrow in place of whatever she had planned. 

“I-I. . .um…okay?” Dr. Grey answered nervously. But it seemed like a good enough response to Katie who cheered a yes as she hugged the woman quickly. 

“Schweet! I should probably head back to my bunk but. . .will I schee you tomorrow?” She asked.

Emily’s mouth opened and closed several times before she said, “O-oh yes, sure! You can stop by anytime.” 

She couldn’t stop a smile as the soldier fist bumped the air, prancing back to wherever she came from. This could be the start of her first friendship. 

Maybe that comparison earlier had been wrong. Maybe the star she thought was so far away was rather closer than she initially thought.


End file.
